Journey to Life – Having a Special Purpose/Mission – Day 2
When I was a Lightworker, I did readings using numerology (which I was most adept at) astrology, tarot cards and sacred path cards. I was also able to read people’s energy (like you would read the paper).
I was in my late 30’s and thru my early 50’s where all this came into fruition, as I had been searching for my purpose, the reason I was placed on earth, what my passion was, what I was inherently good at.
I studied for years, and applied what I had learned, which was a basis for doing readings. However, I started to see that when I did a reading on someone I just knew. I did not know how I knew, but I thought that I had finally discovered who I was, the part of God that I manifested individually within the World. That this was my special purpose/mission to help people see the truth about themselves and discover their special purpose/mission.
Of course, after discovering Desteni and reading the material on Psychics I learned that we were just programmed that way, ie, the just knowing (lol). Its funny to me now, but I was initially shocked because I not only deceived myself but literally hundreds of people that I did readings for, trying to direct them to their truth.
And I also raised my children this way, from an early age telling them that they were here for a special reason and they had a special mission to spread love and light and to help raise themselves and humanity.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had found my mission in life and could direct others to also find theirs.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that something as intangible as a euphoric feeling of love could transform individuals into the truth of who they really were and that Love was the most powerful tool of transformation for people and for addressing the atrocities of this world, ie, if people just Loved, raised themselves up, they would put down their weapons/thoughts/actions of destruction and we would live in a world of Peace.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live my life according to the belief that I had raised myself up and become a better person by Loving more, by putting Love first.
And then before I even came upon Desteni, I started to question myself -“how do you know what you are saying is the truth” “do you know the God of Love that you revere” “Where is He/She” “Why after all these years of searching for the truth, and God you still do not know God, but only the idea of God”
And then I came across Desteni and all these questions were shockingly answered.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame and remorse and guilt in misleading so many people including myself and my children.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my children in a Lie.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a Lie, thinking that the “mainstream” of Life was the Lie and that I was coming from truth and love.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss engaging with people in this so-called vibration of Love.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as shattered because everything that I identified with who and what I was was a lie , so how could I engage in conversations with people when I could no longer speak of life in terms of love and energy and purpose.
I am no longer in mourning for what I was, who I thought I was, as I now have had 3 years to walk my process. And even though I have fallen many times and being in process is nothing like anything I have ever done, there is nothing I would rather being doing than participating with a group of people who are intent on realizing equality on Earth.
I commit myself to stand with Desteni (desteni.co.za) , applying self-forgiveness and apply self corrective application on points/patterns that I have lived within and as the mind.
Those at Desteni are implementing an equal money system that will put an end to poverty, check out equalmoney.org. And join us!